Knock on wood! Or come what may!:)

So BJ graduated high school at the age of 12.  I kind of just assume my kids will be graduating early as well, though not that early.  I don't EXPECT them too, but it just kind of feels like maybe some of them will.

Last night BJ and I were talking about this and how Jane is SUCH A LITTLE MUMMA.  Her mother heart is GINORMOUS!!! And how she is probably going to get married young. This kind of frightens me a bit.
Anyways, BJ was joking about us having to sign a waiver cause she was going to get married at 16 and I was like NO WAY!

AND THEN I KNOCKED ON WOOD.

Do you know why I knocked on wood?
Because I swear every time I say "I will never!", then it happens somehow that I do.

Cloth diapering, homeschool, home birth, falling in love with a guy about to serve a 2 year church mission, etc....

Lately I have been super surprised at some feelings I have been having that I thought I WOULD NEVER EVER have.

I AM SO HAPPY TO BE IN UTAH RIGHT NOW.<-----so unexpected!!

The first time I lived here(about a decade ago! I am getting so old!:) I was attending the Y, and just felt so homesick for WA.  WA is green and beautiful.  Utah felt SO BROWN and ugly. It felt like there were NO TREES here.  I mean, just compare the mountains in WA and UT and you can kind of see what I mean.  I remember that there were really bad fires on the Y mountain that first semester, and one day the sky turned orange with yucky smoke.  Then it rained.....MUD.  It was the grossest thing this 19 year old had ever experienced.  You could literally see the orange sky turning blue as the rain cleansed the sky.  I remember looking down at my black capri pants and being horrified that they had turned brown in the "rain".  I loved BYU with all my little heart, but Utah was another thing all together!

Sometimes in the quad they would set up a soapbox for the students to have fun with.  I remember one dude from California getting up and talking about how he was starting a fund to dig out the whole BYU campus and move it to the CA coast.  I laughed so hard, but was in eighty million agreeance.:)  BYU on the beach sounded good to me!:)

The second time I lived in Provo I came with a cute husband.  We were DIRT POOR.  All our money had been used up in the move.  I remember going to a restaurant for breakfast the morning after we got there cause we didn't have any food yet or something, and having to split the meal and being SOOO HUNGRY.  And not getting full enough from the meal, and feeling bitter thoughts towards my newish husband who ate more than I thought he should have(we split it up equally but hungry eyes are jealous eyes). Shudder.  It was not a pleasant experience. I remember how when we got to Utah it was such a bummer.  CA was finally in total Spring mode when we left, and now we were back into WINTER. BLECH!

I got to go back to school which I loved, but sometime during the semester BJ got laid off from work because of a business merge the company was going through, our car completely broke down and we began to really struggle.  It was a really dark time, and especially hard because we hadn't been married very long. After we left I thought I would never be happy to live in Utah again(not that I was ginormously happy there to begin with except for school.:)

Then we moved to the ACTUAL desert in Vegas and Utah started to look VERY green comparatively.:)
BJ even surprised me for my birthday one year and drove me back to Provo FOR FUN. And I LOVED IT!!

We have lived in four states during the time we have been married.  We began in beautiful Sacramento, CA which was lovely, but we weren't really progressing in our dreams there. So then we were off to return to Provo to finish school(which DID NOT WORK OUT AT ALL!! But was an important part of our journey.  We learned A LOT about each other and what it meant to be married, etc...). Then we were relocated to Nevada where we met a ton of wonderful people and hated everything else.:)  BJ really began his career there, and finished school which was good. AND we began our little clan which was VERY GOOD.:)  Then we lost our house and BJ's job was basically failing, so we picked up our little family and moved to WA for a year.  SUCH a wonderful reprieve, but we were living with family, which was a mixed happiness.

And now we are back in Utah.  Although there were good things about each place we have lived, we weren't really happy in any of them...until now.....IN UTAH. It is so surprising to me!  CA was a really awesome place! Nevada had amazing opportunities! WA is basically where my home heart is! BUT in every single one of those places there were times where I just hated being there.  HATED IT, and let BJ know lots and lots.  For lots of different reasons.

And now, ironically, IN UTAH, a place I never really relished(except for school:) I am THRIVING.  I LOVE IT!  I have not said ONCE that I wish we were somewhere else(well, I do wish the ocean was here, but as for ACTUALLY moving right now, I am really content.  Someday we will move back to the coast, but I am so happy to be here NOW.).  I haven't said once that I hate being here. And I am so surprised! It is hot! It is dry! There are no beaches in Utah!

BUT I LOVE IT HERE SO MILLIONS!!! I LOVE Provo!  I love my neighborhood.  I love the people here.  I love going back to school.  I love that BJ has a really great job right now.  I love the opportunities that are coming to our family here. 

I love walking up to campus.  I have been doing it every evening lately to see if baby wants to come.:)  It is about 2 miles round trip.  On the walk there and back I get to walk through the darlingest neighborhoods.  I love looking at all the different kinds of houses here.  And the gardens! There are huge, mature trees lining the streets.  The mountains I have grown to love glow in the golden hour that I walk in every evening.:)  I make my way up the crazy south hill of campus and I just am in love with Provo. I get to the top and walk by the buildings on campus and just want to hug every one of them.:)

I have no idea why I love Provo and BYU so much.  I mean there are lots of wonderful things about this place, but there are lots of wonderful things about every place in the world!

I believe that when we find we love things and don't know why that those are signs of a personal purpose in our life's mission with those things.  I don't know how to say that very well.

I am SO happy to be in Utah.  AND I AM SO HAPPY TO BE IN A PLACE I AM HAPPY IN!!! The future here is so bright, and I am so grateful to feel that my family is exactly where we need to be.  I wonder if the pioneers felt a similar feeling when they finally got to Utah.  I mean, they traveled FAR to get here, after terrible persecution.  They were promised Zion and then arrived HERE.  A brown valley.  After leaving the green Midwest.  But here there was safety and peace.  That counts for millions, and I feel it.

Happy Thursday!!