Heidi Rosalind's UN birthday

SO no baby yet.

This week has been a roller coaster of emotion.

Wednesday morning I woke up with intense contractions that went about ten times an hour from 3:30 am until about 9ish I think.

Then they stopped...basically completely.

Lots of pelvic pressure throughout the day.  And other labor signs, but those illusive labor contractions were not to be found.

We had friends watch the kids because we thought that the labor would probably start back up....

...and it did Thursday morning, full throttle.
Again super intense, building contractions that began around 5:30ish this time and lasted until just about 11.  Midwives came over around 6am, and I progressed a TON.  When the contractions tapered off I was at just over a 6 in dilation(dilation is really overrated in my experience). So the midwives thought they should leave to see if me resting would get everything going again. The contractions had started to taper around 10ish and we had already tried a ton of things to get them going again.  Rest seemed like what my body was wanting.

I had maybe four more contractions throughout the rest of Thursday.  Lots of other labor symptoms(consistent bloody show, pelvic pressure to the max, etc...)

But again those elusive labor contractions were seriously lacking.

There was much talked of hope for a night labor as soon as the kids were asleep in bed.  The kids were completely wiped out from playing for a day and a half with friends and being away from home.  Hope was high that if labor started they would sleep through the night.  It took like no minutes for ME to fall asleep as these last few days have been emotionally draining TO THE MAX.  I figured, with everyone else, that labor would start up again in the morning.

Well, it is almost 9am, and no labor.  My midwife is leaving town today(she has a back up), and my parents are still in town(but leave on Monday).

I am dilating, I am having all sorts of labor symptoms, just this baby isn't ready to come yet.

And apart from being uncomfortable to the max, and worrying about my parents having to leave town, and my midwife leaving town and having to have this baby with a midwife I have never met, I am ok that this baby wants to come when SHE wants to.

Sometimes you need to induce a baby.  Alice was that way.  But I am healthy, this baby is healthy(she is moving lots and her heartbeat is super strong:), it feels selfish to MAKE her come if she isn't ready.  Which sounds really harsh and very contrary to public opinion, but there it is. She is not a "bad baby" for wanting to come when she is ready.  For goodness sakes!

I am tired.  I am very tired. Waiting is hard.  But you know what? That is life.  Sometimes you have to wait.  Sometimes you have to give up your control to God.  I am glad I get that. It is not easy giving up control. NOT EASY AT ALL FOR ME. But it is important to be able to do that.  I can not see the future, but HE can.  Everyone is safe, there is no REAL need to be freaking out about the progress of this labor.

Anyways, today will be another hard day, but it will be ok with lots of peaceful moments just like the rest of the week.  Heidi Rosalind is coming. I don't know when. I have had SO MANY blessings about this birth and they have all been so encouraging and amazing.  This birth is going to be exactly perfect for this baby and for me and for our family.

We have been so blessed with support from friends and family.  WE ARE SO GRATEFUL.  We will try and keep everyone informed as things continue to progress.(And they ARE progressing, just super slowly:).

Clair Logic;)

Today I am SO sick.  Completely nauseated. Headachey to the max. Pelvic area feels painful and sore and like it is breaking(<---I need a live-in chiropractor FOR REAL).  I am so exhausted from no sleep because I was headachey and pelvic painful all the dang night. Boo and blah.

I really love the Alice in Wonderland books.  A lot of people get creepy vibes from them(and then love Twilight go figure), but I LOVE Alice's adventures.  They are so completely creative and dreamlike to me.  I totally feel the "storytelling" aspect of the tale.  I always want to go create some kind of art or magic when I am done reading her tales. I get super inspired. 

There is one other link to me and Wonderland.  Logic.  Or rather unlogic. In Wonderland logic is different than it is in real life.  Somethings will sound logical there that aren't really.  "Clair logic" is super the same.

For example: If I have not started labor by about noon, then I figure the baby is not coming that day. If the baby hasn't come by Wednesday then the baby is probably not coming this week.  There is no real logic there, but that is EXACTLY what my body and mind believe.  FOR REAL. Not in a pessimistic way, dude there is no logic, that would require logic.  We are talking about CLAIR LOGIC. And it is just one of those things.  The baby will probably not come because it has not come yet, and the day/week is basically over. 

It makes no sense to anyone but Clair.:)

My husband wrote a song about me and my Clair Logic a few months ago. I wish I had a recording of it.  You will have to be satisfied with lyrics:

Her Uncommon Sense
by BJ HAMAKER
about CLAIR HAMAKER:)

My Clair's a clever thing
I can ask her anything
And when she answers then
she makes uncommon sense.

one night, no cloud, no thunder
in a field we lie
when aloud I wonder
"how many stars in the sky?"

she said, "All of them.
Where else would they be?
I don't think you're talkin
'bout the stars in the sea.
It's a simple thing
you can understand
it's no complex question
like two birds in the hand."

My Clair said "Ohmygator.
How cold is my nose?"
I said, "refrigerator.
You should hold me close."

She said, "Hold you close?
How else could I do?
I can't hold you here
if you're in Timbuktu.
It's a simple thing
you can understand
it's no complex question
like two birds in the hand."

Lately I have been having more Clair Logic moments for which new lyrics could be made, but since they aren't completely logical we haven't been able to remember them later...

It will be interesting when I take my rhetoric classes on campus in the next few years to see how Clair Logic will adapt.:)

Interesting side note QUESTION: This is my 94th post on this blog.  Do you think I will post my 100th post or have the baby first?

PS.This is my new best friend.  SONIC ICE.  Pregnant women in Vegas tried to convince me FOR YEARS this was the best thing ever. Only recently have I been able to be converted. YUM! It cools you down and takes away the queezies.  LOVE IT!  -as a side note-craving ice can be a sign of anemia, or low iron.  But if you live somewhere hot to the crazy then you are probably just needing to cool down and eat some of this ice.;)