As BJ and I used to maxim, "The Future is Bright!" and all is right in heaven.:)

Yesterday planning out my university schedule was AWESOME.  I am so excited about expanding my education and FINISHING my degree!!!  It is going to take me just over four years to finish.  That is a really long time.  But in retrospect, that is shorter than it is taking me to finish my Master Herbalist course.:)

It is really expensive to go to school.  BYU is BY FAR one of the more affordable universities in the country. Education is really important to the LDS church and I am so grateful because they try to make it as affordable as possible.:) But it is still more than...FREE...:)

It is also, like I mentioned above, REALLY time consuming.

SO MONEY AND TIME.  The BJHamaker family has really struggled with those two things. Yesterday whilst looking at the schedule I had made for myself I pondered FOR SEVERAL HOURS seriously on if this was the right time and WORTH it.  I drove BJ crazy by asking him for the millionth time if it was OK to be planning on my doing this.  And what I really meant was, is it right?  Is it responsible?  Is it appropriate when we have so many darling babies to look out for and take care of?  Talk about time and money, babies use them up like nothing else!:)

I have been praying to know what Heavenly Father thinks about my plans as well.  I want to be a good Mum, and that was a huge part of what I told Heavenly Father whilst telling Him about everything else. And I really want to be a good wife and support to my husband.  I have been so chronically sick for so many years, and he has had to spend SO MUCH of his energy taking care of me and the kids and everything by himself that it feels so selfish in a way to want these next four years to go to school.  It doesn't feel like a NEED.  Like in a survival way. But the truth is, finishing school IS a need for Clair.  I NEED it.  Not every person needs to finish school, but I do.  Learning is part of who I am.  I am really good at learning on my own as well, but a formal education is definitely a part of what makes a Clair a good Clair.

Last night I went to bed feeling good about the plans, but still a bit worried about the rightness of my choices. This morning I woke up and Heavenly Father blessed me with inspiration and personal revelation.  He put in my mind all the ways that my choices were going to make me an even BETTER Mum than if I chose not to go back to school.  He took me through the classes I have chosen and showed how each one would make me a better person and mother.  I am SO GRATEFUL!  What a loving Heavenly Father we have!  He didn't have to do that.  He could have just let me wait and see for myself whether or not the choices I am making are good just by their natural consequences, but He chose to tell me and show me in my mind well before hand instead. 

I have such a strong testimony of personal revelation as it pertains to our lives in not just spiritual ways.  Heavenly Father cares about us so much.  He cares about our feelings and what goes on in our days.  He cares about our families and how they are progressing and what they need.

I am SO excited for school.  It is going to be a CRAZY four years, and there is still planning and organizing to do.  One big thing that needs to happen this Autumn is recovering from this pregnancy and getting as healthy as I have never been!:)  I am telling you herbs and nutrition and taking care of my body are going to be super keys in making this university experience happen!:)  Energy without the coffee and energy drinks of the normal world, it is TOTALLY possible dudes.:)

Anyways, I hope you are having a lovely Tuesday! This week has been a super challenge already here, and the pressure that has been mounting in my lower back and pelvic area convinces me these last few days(or dare I even say it...weeks?!?!??!) are going to be an act of endurance to the max...

Cheers!