Patience is a virtue. I PROMISE.:)

Most of the time I think I need to write FOR ME.  There is something in me that I need to remember and see physically on paper(or screen:). This is one of those posts.:) There is a prize at the end for those who are actually patient enough to read(or atleast scroll down) the whole dang thing.:)

So what is the ONE time you REALLY don't feel like you have the power to change your life?  For me it is when I am waiting...and I have found that there is ALWAYS something to wait for.

Isn't that a great picture depicting how it feels to wait?:)
As a Mom you are for sure always waiting. Waiting to get pregnant.  Waiting to get through the first trimester....second trimester....third trimester....is this baby ever coming?! Then you are waiting for the baby to sleep through the night, or to start eating solids, or to stop teething.....If you are not careful you can miss a whole baby's life just waiting for them to be onto the next milestone.
This really hit home for me when we got pregnant with our third precious baby. Alice was conceived ten weeks after Denny was BORN.  Not planned(and yes, before you say it to me out loud: it was a challenge, but it was completely doable, and in reflection the negative "support/help/???" was harder to live through then the actual pregnancy.  Power of positivity counts in our words to each other as well!). I remember being really afraid that I could not do it.  And it was totally reinforced by everyone else saying they could not do it, basically every time I came into human contact!  I wish people had said things more like, "Gosh Clair, you are so gonna rock having three kids!"  "Dude, you are amazing, and I am so impressed by your awesomeness!" "You are a strong and you totally have this covered!  No worries!":) You know instead of, "man I could never do that. Your life is hard." Boo. Hiss.  I try not to say it myself anymore.  No bueno.  OK, off my soapbox.  The other thing people told me over and over was that I just needed to concentrate on MAKING IT THROUGH THE DAY and MAKING IT THROUGH THIS PREGNANCY.  That second one was what really got me thinking.  You see, I had a brand new baby as well.  If I spent all my time, energy and FOCUS on getting through the pregnancy I was going to miss my son's whole first year!  SO much happens that first year!  I don't think my loving Heavenly Father intended for me to miss all those beautiful moments just to live through a difficult pregnancy.

I do think "making it through the day" is a good tool for short periods of time.  Like, perhaps a few weeks.  But I think all too often there are too many times where for months and years we just make it through and don't really live.  I have found that in the last several years there is always something I am waiting for or on. For instance, this last few months we have been waiting for my sweet husband to get a raise that he was promised in his contract at his job. We needed that raise to pay the bills.  Money is one of those things that can cause a whole heap of stress!!! So we chose to somewhat "just get through those few months".  Well, that FINALLY resolved itself.  So now we get to relax and enjoy the life we were "getting through those months" to enjoy, right?  Well, last weekend another waiting opportunity presented itself.  We found a really lovely house to rent in our favorite neighborhood. IN OUR PRICE RANGE! WITH A WASHER AND DRYER!!!!!!  Right now we are in an apartment and spending $100.00 a month on laundry at the coin-op!  We've looked at the house, we've contacted the landlord there and our landlord here(we will have to find someone to buy our contract-it's Provo, shouldn't be too hard, but doesn't happen overnight...:). Now we have to....wait.  We are in a situation where, for a little while, we must wait on others for action before we can act ourselves.

Waiting is the worst! And we are waiting again. So, would you just make it through the next few weeks when things are resolved?  If we can't rent the house then we will stay in the apartment.  So prepacking isn't really something that motivates me...  I have a feeling there will always be something that could excuse "just making it through..." and I need more than that.  I remember for awhile I lived for nap time and bedtime, and after a few weeks I said to myself, "Good grief!  Why did I have babies if I just wanted them to sleep all the time! I could have done foster care with older children!" I want quality of life, even during the hard times. I want special moments, and happy times.  I want to be able to be a person even when circumstances around me are trying and stressful.  I would at least like to somewhat function!:)

So how do you do that?  How have I done that? 
Here is a list of things that have helped me "enjoy" the waiting periods.  Those times where it feels I have SO LITTLE control over my family and life.:)

-I READ. I go to my beloved books and envelope myself in dreams for the future.  Perhaps this isn't quite living in real life, but you have to have a dream before you can live the dream.  And my books remind me of my purpose, and the reason why I am waiting....for something that will bring me closer to my dream. And sometimes when life is so stressful and dreary feeling, it is nice to read my beautiful books and know life is indeed a gorgeous thing.  One book I especially recommend this month is ENCHANTED APRIL.  We ALL need an enchanted April in our lives.:) One of the most beautiful stories ever written.

-I CLICK. (http://www.billionclicks.org/ :) I can not tell you how this has helped me enjoy and get through potty training.  Potty training is probably my least favorite thing about having children. I think I WOULD rather change diapers the rest of my life.....almost.;)  Especially being pregnant potty training when I would rather be lounging on the couch instead of sitting in a hard chair watching and asking my kids all day how they are feeling, and would they like to go potty?:)  Having that clicker in my hand is magical.  I look at its pink cuteness and happy thoughts flood my mind. "I love BJ. I love pink.  I love Jane. I love Denny. I love Alice.  I love Spring.  I can totally do this.  I am amazing.  I am FREAKING amazing....etc."  Even if I just say "I love BJ" a million clicks in a row.  It feels so good!  And it reprograms my brain to stop thinking all the negative, worrying thoughts I would rather think about in times of waiting.

-I HANG OUT WITH MY FAVORITE PEOPLE.  Seriously, I think close girlfriends are the best anti-depressant.  And if you add a good dose of prayer, chocolate and the most amazing husband ever...dude you are unstopable!:)  I have been so blessed to know so many amazing women.:) 
Sometimes when I am at my most stressed, you know, those times when you REALLY NEED A FRIEND, that those are the times when I reclude into myself. I worry about dragging others down, or being unfun to be around, or adding to some one's burden.  There is one friend who is ALWAYS there though.  And I never could burden Him too greatly or depress Him, and that is my Heavenly Father.  I am so grateful for prayer when I am lonely and stressed.  There have even been times when I have been completely frank about how I feel about my situation in life, and I never feel like He is angry at me for being upset, even when I feel like He could be helping a bit more.:)  I have found that shortly after those times He had been opening doors, and removing obstacles I hadn't known were there at the time.  He is always helping, even when we can't see it.

-I COMMUNICATE MY NEEDS.  I didn't do this for years because between my chronic health problems and intense life hardships, I felt my needs were too great.  But when I finally was honest with myself and others about what my needs were to function, life started turning around miraculously!  And I am especially talking about how my quality of life changed. We need to take care of ourselves emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally.  Even during waiting periods, if we take care of ourselves as best we can, quality of life vastly improves.
 If you feel your needs are too great, and there is not enough time, energy, etc. in a day to meet them I recommend one thing: prayer.  Heavenly Father is the most amazing manager, and I have found in my most time/energy/money deficient times that Heavenly Father knows how to make things happen despite the circumstances.  He is so into what we need, and so desirous of helping us, and making sure we have what we need.:) 

-I CRAFT LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW.  It seems like when we are waiting for money that those are the times when I really feel a need to make things.  And it always feels like, in those waiting for money times, that I need money to do that.  One time when we were experiencing this I decided that for the short few months while we were waiting I was going to just craft like a maniac with the things I had already.  This may sound so simple, but it was such a huge brainwave for me at the time.:)  And it really forced the creative juices to get going, and I had to find ways to make things work without all the tools/materials required.
The feeling like you can't DO anything is, I think, the main reason why waiting is so hard.  And crafting or making something, feels like DOING. IS doing.:)

-I FOCUS ON MY LITTLE FAMILY.  I try to turn off that boring record player of worried thoughts playing in my mind and start focusing on eye time and cuddle time with my little ones.  They need that everyday and so do I!  It is so easy to forget that when you are sitting in a dither worrying for hours on end just waiting.

Don't worry, we put the balloons in the crib AFTER she was awake.:)

-I WRITE. Journaling. Ohmygator.  I am getting better at this, but seriously, it terrifies me.  And probably that is mostly because when I have journaled, so much crazy has come out onto the paper that I didn't know was inside me!  It can be overwhelming! Journaling your worries, journaling your hopes.  Journaling just to journal your journey in this life.  Being able to look back after the struggles and to see how far you have come.

-I AFFIRM.  This is almost like clicking. Power of positive thoughts out loud and also written on paper around the house.:)   I remember going through some intense physical training where I was trying hard not say I couldn't do it.  I would instead say, "This is hard, but I can do it.  I can do hard things."  Mantras, affirmations.  So good.

-I SEE AND NOTICE THE BEAUTY AROUND ME AND DANCE IN THE RAIN.:) More positivity I know, but really, if we could notice all the beauty and truth in our lives we would have no time to do anything else.  We are indeed a blessed people.  I AM BLESSED.  And I need to spend time remembering that or else it is too easy to forget. It does help that my kids are so stinkin' cute.  Reminders that you can see are always the easiest to notice.:)

-Other things I do:I call my husband a million times a day.  Just to talk, and be "together".  I eat chocolate. I go to the temple. I facebook, a lot.  Facebook reminds me there are still people outside of my house doing things.:)  I call my Mum. I make lists.  SO MANY LISTS.  I try and workout. I WALK OUTSIDE.  <----FAVORITE!!! Clean air.  Beauty all around me. Good prayer time.  Getting the blood and lymph going.  GOOD STUFF.

Today I am waiting, but I am also going to do things.  I can't make people call me on the phone so I can get to action, but I can do A TON of other things.  I can stay positive.  I can pray for direction.  I can be proactive and happy.:)

Hope your day rocks!  And man, if you got to the end of this post you deserve some cookies.  Leave a message and I will make you some this week.  Or at least call ya and tell you that you seriously are the bestest friend ever.:)

********ALSO!!! I LOVE GIVE AWAYS. LIKE SO EIGHTY MILLION.  So every week I am going to give away something totally sweet(atleast in my opinion, you could send me a message saying what you think would be totally sweet to get in a give away.:). I think I am going to have a sort of theme every week in my posts.  Monday through Friday I will give a  daily challenge that you can participate in.  Everytime you participate and leave a message at the end of the post it will count as one entry in the weekly give away.  Does that make sense? 

SO TODAY'S CHALLENGE IS: Let's think of something TO DO while we're waiting!  What do you do to help you enjoy and participate in life while you are waiting, or going through a stressful time?  Get creative and let me know! 

And the prize this week is going to be two clickers color of your choice(pink, red, yellow, green, blue, white, black).:)  I will pick the winner Saturday morning, and let you know!!!!!

A bonus idea: Sometimes I just need to get out of a worry funk really badly and nothing is working.  SO I LAUGH.  At nothing.  I just start laughing as loud and as hard as I can.  And that always at least surprises the heck out of everyone in the room....which also makes everyone else laugh...which usually is enough to get me moving onto more happy and positive things.:)