BJ spending a bit of time being hassled by salesmen and 50 smackers for a tiny 5ml bottle of VALERIAN essential oil. This is a wonder herb for the nervous system, and totally knocked me out! He put a few drops straight on the bottoms of my feet and then mixed a few more drops with some grape seed oil to rub into my crazy legs(do you struggle with crazy arm and leg syndrome, I DO! My nervous system is whacked out!:).
Sleeping is so good for you. Did you know that?:)
Do you know what the other key to me sleeping well finally was? Prayer. I knew part of my sleeping problem this week had to do with me being worried, but I couldn't figure out what I was worried about. Last night when I was saying my evening prayer I was talking through some of the changes that are starting to happen in our lives and while talking to my Heavenly Father it finally came to me.
I have been dreaming about this part of my life since, I swear, the premortal existence. I have dreamt of living in a darling community, with a gaggle of children, a darling Prince charming husband with a steady job, building our dreams one day at a time. FOR SO LONG, literally the last several years, we have been in the middle of really hard times, and now things are changing...FOR THE BETTER! Things are looking up and it scares the crap out of me I think.
Moving from an apartment to a house feels like it is the best idea ever. Backyard, way more space, etc. But is it? Am I disillusioning myself that life is getting better?! IS it going to be better? BJ is in a steady job that he loves, that adores HIM to the moon and back, where he is everyones hero everyday, and we have a real plan we can count on to get out of debt and start building dreams again. His new job has security, and we are going to be able to enjoy such better health because of the wonderfulness of his job. But will we really? Am I just hoping?
When BJ and I talk about THE FACTS of the new changes we feel so right. SO GOOD. So peaceful. But then, it is so hard to believe! I had never thought about it until now, but it is JUST like my experience with my counselor where I made a list of who I am, and then couldn't believe I was that awesome!
Why is it so hard to believe in the blessings Heavenly Father has prepared for us in THIS LIFE?
When you have been through really hard times, especially for an extended amount of time, it can be hard to believe that things will ever change. BUT things can change! AND WILL CHANGE! We have so many promises in the scriptures and by modern day prophets that declare that truth. And being reminded in a few ways last night, that Heavenly Father has so many beautiful blessings He is preparing for us that we will get to experience NOW, not just later....sometime in the hazy future, was just what I needed to help me relax and have faith and hope and SLEEP.
AND I have the ability to do my part. I have the ability to be ready for happy times. I really struggle with believing that. Like I said, I have been dreaming of this part of my life, my whole life, and now it is time to live the dream! And I get so worried that I won't be able to do it. I won't be able to be a good mom or good wife.I won't be able to take care of myself enough so that I can be healthy enough to do the work I was meant to in this life. I won't be able to do things and experience things that I see other people experiencing.
But Heavenly Father over and over again has proved that I CAN AND WILL. And it will rock.AND I WILL ROCK!:)
One other thing I wanted to mention in this already long winded post is that Heavenly Father's timing is perfect. So often I get so frustrated by the waiting, but I have had so many confirmations lately that He isn't just testing me, but that He is moving the mountains in front of me and creating a smooth path so that my journey is easier than I could make it myself. He is removing the struggles, not creating them.
One of my favorite people in the whole world wrote the most beautiful post yesterday about the HOPE found in the Lord's timing. You should read it.:)Here in the Waiting Place
TODAY'S CHALLENGE: How do you feel when there are big changes for the better in your life? I wanna know! Do you have a favorite scripture or conference talk that you love to read when going through hard times and you need a bit of bolstering in the hope department? Leave a comment and tell me about it!
TODAY IS FRIDAY! The give away winners will be announced tomorrow!
One of my favorite talks to read, or at least remember, is Elder Holland's "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" (here's the link: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1999/10/an-high-priest-of-good-things-to-come?lang=eng&query="it+will+be+all+right+in+the+end"
ReplyDeleteI can definitely imagine myself 30 years down the road wanting to call out to myself now as Elder Holland wanted to call out to HIS younger self: “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.” :)
I'm happy you got some sleep!