The most loving parent.:)

Sometimes days are really hard.  Like today.  I got put on semi-bed rest Tuesday after experiencing some painful contractions.  I have three darling children who are used to having a Mum with health problems, but bed rest is an entirely separate monster of its own.  The kids are stir crazy.  I am stir crazy. 

I have INCREDIBLE friends who have come over to keep us company, and who have even taken the children over to their house for a few hours at a time in the last few days. 

But still the children are crazy. THEY NEED TO RUN. LIKE A LOT.

And it is raining which kind of rules that out.

I am a ginormous lover of the rain.  I LOVE IT!  But come to find out, not when it means the kids are trapped inside a tiny apartment for several days...

I began this week with a personal challenge of turning to the Lord before turning to the chocolate when I am depressed/discouraged/freaking angry/hysterical/etc...and I am pretty proud of how I have done!

I have noticed that my prayers are getting longer and more sincere.  I have been really trying to have the spirit with me more constantly.  I notice when I write this blog that because I have such little faith in my ability to communicate on the page that I pray A LOT while I am writing.  I can feel the difference when I am writing and it feels right and the spirit is there and when it feels wrong and I know the spirit is telling me I need to go in a different direction or start over again. I am not perfect at it, but I am noticing it more and more.:)

This afternoon a couple of times I felt like I was losing it.  One kid would do something so vexing...but mostly it was just vexing in the moment cause I was so dang tired. SO DANG TIRED.  So tired.  And you know what, I think when I saw that I was mostly angry and upset because I was tired that that was a prompting from the spirit.  It caused me to stop and think about my reaction.  If I was "normal tired":)  I would still have been upset, but not nearly as hysterical about it. 

I have really felt this week that I HAVE to make nourishing myself my number one priority.  Even before my beautiful children.  I HAVE to.  I have to eat healthier and make sleep a priority so I can be the patient, not-out-of-her-mind momma that they deserve. I have to take all my herbs and tea and so forth everyday. Ever since my walk the other day where the Lord told me I needed to focus on eating more greens I have really been trying to do that.  And I feel a difference.  I am still tired and exhausted, but I can also feel the beginnings of lasting strength in my body being built up by all that nourishing food.:)

And the prayer is so nourishing too.  Making an effort to have the spirit be my more constant companion is slowly changing my perspective of how I need to parent and my role in this life.

I am still on the constant precipice of insanity and sanity, but I think I am millimeter by millimeter edging away from the insanity side to the more sane side.:)  I am so grateful that this is a life of learning, and that I get to be a Mum.  It is hard work!  Really  no matter your situation, this life can be so extremely challenging.  But I am really grateful for those challenges.  Bed rest sucks, but it feels good to have an opportunity to learn and grow.  Heavenly Father knows how tired I am, and normally it would feel like, "really?!  I have to take this opportunity to learn and grow?!  I am so tired!  Let's learn next time, when I have more energy...." But I am realizing more and more how much HE KNOWS. He knows I am tired, and He is infinitely patient and empathetic. He knows just how much I can handle, and that He is there for when I can't do it alone.  To make up that difference.  He is so protective  and is THE MOST loving parent ever.  He watches and never allows the trials to get bigger than what the both of us can handle together.  And that is so wonderful to know! 


This post is a bit babbly, alas.:)

No challenge today.:)  But if you want, you can leave a message and that will count.  Tomorrow is Friday!

ps.Isn't this beautiful?  It makes me feel so happy to look at and pretend that this is what my fridge looks like.:)