CHOOSING TO BE HAPPY? More like BEING BLESSED INTO HAPPINESS.:)

THIS is THE HAT.  More about that later.:)

Sometimes I get really frustrated with the limits of my physical body.  I have a whole list of chronic health problems that HAVE been getting better over the last few years as I have tackled the heck out of them with herbs and healthier living, but still I struggle daily with trying to keep my physical state stable.

After a long week of fun adventures with my folks, SATURDAY IT ALL WENT TO CRAZY both physically and emotionally.  My body was just DONE!  And there was still ever so much to DO and BE and accomplish! We had some potential landlords over to meet us, and the kids WERE JUMPING LITERALLY ALL OVER THEM!  Dear Husband was completely oblivious and it was just seriously the last straw.  I had a royal meltdown with everyone.  BJ then proceeded to take the children and himself away to the store so I could calm the crazy down!  Which I appreciated, but wished so desperately that I hadn't needed it.

What do you think was the first thing I did when they left?  I REACHED FOR THE REST OF THE CHOCOLATE CAKE lurking in our fridge.  I took ONE BITE and remembered my challenge(see two posts back about chocolate:).  I guess I had said that I was going to start the challenge today(Monday), but since I was already in a the perfect situation to try out my challenge, I decided to start it then. 

SO I put my ginormous-I'm-eating-the rest-of-the-cake-without-sharing-cause-I-am-mad-spoon down, and said a prayer.  I asked for help to calm down, and for BJ to be blessed to understand me better.:)  Do you ever do that?  Pray that other people will change for your behalf?:)  I didn't feel better right away.  In fact, I felt horrible the whole rest of the day and for the whole night and part of the next morning.

I have a really hard time CHOOSING to be happy.  Sometimes life is too daunting, and my list of needs are too overwhelming.  I get so frustrated that I can't just have the energy normal people have.  I have this terrific, awesome, energetic spirit.  Why can't my body be the same?! And I start the pity party. Pity parties are apperently not condusive to the spirit....

Sunday I missed most of church. Emotional stress tends to lead straight to physical stress for me, and my body felt so awful.  I did make it to Relief Society.  I remember praying that my heart would be softened and that I would find someone to talk to that would understand me, and help me feel better and to help me gain perspective again.  Sometimes my emotions are so crazy and it is so difficult for me to iron them out by myself, and it feels difficult to talk to them with others, even best of friends. AND IT WAS EASTER!  Who wants to take time out of their lovely holiday to listen to someone who is upset!

But I did get to church FINALLY and the first person I bumped into, I couldn't even help it, I just felt the floodgates open.  AND IT WAS OK. This person was ABSOLUTELY AN ANSWER TO MY PRAYERS.  She was in just the right place where I could quickly tell her my heart troubles and she had the time to listen. The situation was just right, and then I felt better and we both went back to the meeting.

Sometimes I can choose to be happy(I CAN!), and sometimes I just need some kind of jolt, like talking to a friend, or something to help the change  to positivity along.  Something different than the woe-is-me-rut I am in.  Prayer is often the catalyst, but like the brethren are always saying,  "It is often through someone else that our prayers are answered."

I went home in a much happier state.  BJ and I finished talking things out, and then I felt MUCH better.  Being emoptionally seperate from that man is so UNLIVABLE!!   Like we seriously, BOTH OF US, can not handle it.  MISERABLENESS!!  Golly, I get so angry that I am so often such a holy mess of a girl. I am so grateful for a husband who knows the real me and loves the NOW ME too.

I was so tired from the whole last week and exhausting weekend, but it was Easter and I still really wanted it to be special.   I had worn basically nothing special to church, except for some really cute shoes.  It was time to go do the Easter hunt and Heavenly Father gave me some needed inspiration.  It was time to take out THE HAT, and get all dolled up. So I did, and that brightened my mood incredibly. (Though I wish I had had some super sweet lipstick to finish the look.:)

BJ is so generous and was making our special Easter dinner.  My 1950's feminine romantic outlook felt guilty that I wasn't the one in the kitchen atleast enjoying cooking with that handsome man of mine! And again that my body was so dang tiresome...literally.:)  So I put on my fancy lace apron and decided that I at least had energy to set out the pretty plates and dishes.  BJ and I have a firm belief that I make our life beautiful and he makes our life possible.:) And it was lovely and ENOUGH.

My personal challenge this week is to turn to the Lord when I am stressed/lonely/angry/etc....before I turn to chocolate.  MY CHALLENGE TO YOU: I honestly don't know!  I have tried to think of something all weekend and morning and nothing feels totally right.  Choose to be happy today?  Put on something that makes you feel how you want to feel, like that awesome women you always wanted to be(ARE!)?  Maybe this, if anything in this post stuck out to you.(...I dunno....that feels really weird to write.  Mostly I write these posts for me still.:) But if anything came into your mind relating to something you would like to positively change in your life, make today's personal challenge about that. You can leave a comment about it and that will enter you into this week's give away.  In honor of how awesomely feminine I felt yesterday wearing my pretty apron, I am making a ton more this week, and will give one away to this week's winner.:)