4 to 9

4 to 9. That is about how many weeks I have left with another person inside me.  I WISH IT WAS 20...AT LEAST.  I have never felt this way at the end of a pregnancy before, but I think I have an inkling why I feel this way THIS TIME.....


I know I should just not care that we are STILL not moved in all the way, and that we are still struggling with finding things, and that the biggest reason behind that is that not everything has a place yet.  Sometimes I am VERY good at not caring about the mess.  After Heidi Rose is born will probably be one of those times.  NOW IS NOT ONE OF THOSE TIMES THOUGH. Now I NEED things to be in order.  And they ARE slowly getting done.  I have SO MUCH MORE energy than I usually do, and I am a lot more sane at this point of pregnancy than I usually am. That is great! BUT! 

Still, the mess drives me crazy and I feel helpless about changing the situation(at least as quickly as I would like:).

Logically I get what everyone is saying.  I mean I AM PREGNANT. DUDE. It is alright to have a messy home right now. It is alright to have not everything in its place.

Heavenly Father is telling me that everything will work out.  He has impressed this upon me TONS AND TONS. And I DO believe Him.  But His counsel also leaves me a bit frustrated sometimes.  This morning I REALLY wanted to get up earlier than I did(basically 10).  Part of me COULD NOT get up because of the crazy essential oils I have been using at night to help me get to sleep...but the other part was an impression from my Heavenly Father to sleep in while I can. I get it.  Logically I super get it. My kids totally rock about letting me sleep in.  I should take advantage. 

BUT DUDE!!!  There is so much to do.  Morning is the best time to get stuff done, and I mean especially for a personality type like me.  If I can take care of what needs to get done right away in the morning, I am so much happier, and less stressed than trying to get it done throughout the whole day.  I am not really an endurance type person.....eeek.

The world says who cares if your house is a mess.  Making your bed is a waste of time.  I am not even going to go there, for all the unpopularness I will accrue.:) 

I love order.  I THRIVE with order around me.  Order is beautiful, truly and literally beautiful to me.  It uplifts me and makes life so much easier!  This is not an orderly time of my life.  It is making me a bit crazy.  And most of the time I am healthy enough to be ok with that.:) But not always!!!:)

Out of all he voices that come at me with advice, I hold onto Heavenly Father's.  And I will tell you why.  He sees the biggest picture.  THE WHOLE PICTURE.  He knows when this baby is coming.  He knows me and my limits and the limits of my family(AND THE LIMITS OF MY HUSBAND...poor man...:).  I know that even if Heavenly Father's advice doesn't make the clearest sense to me, that in the end I will see how His words of knowledge for my life circumstances were THE MOST LOGICAL. He knows so well how to make this the BEST life experience, I just gotta listen and trust and DO.

QUESTION: Whose voices pull you the most?  Your Mom, the world, Heavenly Father, YOU....etc?

TWO things mainly:)

First off: It is SOOOO hilarious to me how important MY "due date" is to OTHER people. I have had three children at this point.  I don't believe in due dates.  They are not some magical number that means the baby is done.  The baby is done when labor starts.  In fact, did you know that the baby starts sending off chemicals to your body when it is ready to come out into the world? Look it up. Good to know.  SO I have been telling people the baby will come sometime July or August.  And some of them have been getting really riled about it. SO HILARIOUS. The funny thing is, is that those people are a HUGE part of why I don't like to tell people a due date.  Because then as it gets closer or passes they start making super annoying remarks.  SO, this baby will come when it comes, and it will be ALL GOOD.;) I am good with it at least.:)  I want a fully cooked baby.:)

Second off: I have been feeling so good this pregnancy that I have completely squandered my 2nd term.  Now I am in my third term and have SO MUCH TO GET DONE, and so little energy.

My list for just taking care of ME everyday:

Herbs:
adrenal capsules 2, 3times a day
Vitalerbs(think whole food vitamin) 5, 3 times a day
Probiotics 1, 3 times a day
Immucalm, 2 capsules, 2 times a day
1-2 quarts of red rasp leaf tea(for many things, also to help with an infection right now...boo)

2-3 quarts of water depending on how much herbal tea I drink a day

Exercises:
squatting practice, trying to work up to 20 minutes
inner thigh stretch 3 times  day
25 pelvic rocks three times a day
150 kegels AT LEAST

Also, try to either do some Bar Method, go on a walk, or rebound for 20-30 minutes

Hypnobaby homeplay(homework):
affirmations cd
several different hypnosis practices
count babykicks
and one other hypnosis script

SCRIPTURE STUDY-at least a verse dude!
AND GREEN FOOD!!!! Trying for at least two large salads full of yummy, crunchy veggies and a green drink/smoothie/juice a day.:)

None of this keeps my house clean, so somehow we got to find a way to keep things at least sanitary, and then there are the needs of my already earthbound angels.:)  Food, activities, clean clothes, etc.

AND THEN there are the other projects in the house that really need to be finished so the house can retain some kind of order.  Such as BJ finishing retrofitting my wardrobe so there is a place for my clothes, and the baby clothes....

SO MUCH. I am pretty ok with it most of the time, but I have my moments of stress.  I am definitely at the stage in my pregnancy where I am requiring a ton of emotional support more than anything else.  Feeling vulnerable to negativity and cynicism especially.  I get a ton of blessings from my husband around this time of pregnancy. And can I just mention for the millionth time that my husband is a saint?!

Anyways, this is rambling pregnant woman here.:)  This is where I am.  Life is humorous and crazy.  Stress is starting to mount a bit, but I am still doing OK for the most part.  Also, as if I didn't need anymore distractions I have super been in lets spend all my time dreaming and planning for years out in our future.:)  Get back to the present Hamaker!

Hope your week this week is so magical and lovely.  We need to stop and feel the magic of this crazy life so much more! Happy Monday!